Monday monday~

As the train came into the station on my way home today, (I was getting on it) I had an instantaneous image of myself jumping in a star-jump kind of jump out to meet it. *WHAM* The slowmo effect went through my head as well. ooo Chewy.
In other totally relevant news, it has been discovered that ants are the cause of Australia's drought. These malicious creatures (second only to beavers, tied with those evil fluffy white ducklings), dug deep deep chutes which were used to siphon rain water into gigantic pools that they used to train their ever-growing ranks of Olympic swimmers. What? This just in, roses have been declared a threat to the theories of Quantum Mechanics (what a nice shade of purplish yellow ochre), leaving a lingering smell even when they don't exist (when you're not looking at them). In addition (oo connectives), humans have been proven to have evolved from rocks from fossilized material over 2 days old. Amazing what archaelogy can do these days.
Termite oil has been deemed to be of a higher quality than palm oil and even corn oil especially in causing better tasting deaths. Astrologists have uncovered a new meaning in the shape of a 100-year old fig tree. Consequently, marshmallow oil still remains the top oil for cooking and general roasting of human flesh to appease the rock-hard marshmallow swine deities.
Back to the ants, it seems that they have built drain pipes out of empty exoskeletons to steal water from human dams. Damn those insidious creatures! Badgers don't spray you with foul-smelling musk like skunks!! Hair doesn't spontaneously ignite, though if it did the atmosphere would be as toxic as the soft spot on your chin.
Garble garble waffle waffle ice cream diaries and chocolate floppy discs of plastic.
Bits of chunky gravy float around in a sea of thick water fortified with fan blades blended with high quality beans to give a fragrant coffee-like aroma. Bouncy.
*BOING*