Sunday, March 11, 2007

To Celebrate A First Post, Consider:

An eagle soaring majestically high in the cloudless sky, over a green but flowery valley surrounded by white peaks blablabla etc etc. Isn't it a picturesque depiction of stereotyped majesty? Love the big words don't you. Welcome. I can guarantee that big words won't be a big part of ma blog. Nor will proper posts it seems. You see, the eagle saw a rabbit. Yes. Cute little bunny is going to die. So it seems. The eagle dives. It gets closer and closer to the seemingly unaware bunny. 5m away. 4. 3. The eagle covers 2 metres in .1 sec. Fast isn't it? Go count the velocity if you feel so inclined. The angle from the ground is 73.449129372103º. Have fun yea? Anyway back to the story. The eagle died. The end.
Now how did that happen? Well next consider that if pigs could fly rabbits would probably be rather safe, and the human race would be doomed to even more antagonistic bombing than we usually get from our feathery friends. Yea. So if pigs could fly then the eagle would die, don't you see the logic? There's definitely logic in that. In fact you can calculate it, you see...
If you've believed me up to this point go hide your red face in shame because you're totally irrational and have no semblance of logical thought whatsoever. I mean just because pigs can fly doesn't mean rabbits would be safe (unless the eagle prefers pork, which I doubt) nor does it mean the eagle should be dead. So there.
Anyway, for the rest of us NOT-SO-SHAMEFACED people, we're all wondering what happened to the eagle except me of course, I mean this is MY story. So, why? Consider (i love that word) :
a) massive heart failure just at the opportune moment
b) lightning struck it on a clear day
c) Aliens killed it with a DEATH RAY!! ooo technology
d) rabbit had a shotgun
Now which is the most likely? Well shotgun obviously, everyone can get guns these days so why shouldn't the rabbit?
You're dead,
100 pellets in your head,
One green and one red,
Hang on... wasting vital nutrients. *munch* *munch*
Good old rabbits and their rodent table manners eh?
If that made much sense (emphasis on much) please explain it to me...

Arr!! Eat pellets eagle scum!! And so will I GRR